Little Shop of Horrors

I love that movie, it’s funny, it’s dark, it’s entertaining. Somehow, I missed that whole “sacrifice” theme the first time. Interesting how all things as of late in my life seem to point to God, my faith, the Cross, Christianity, Grace … Suprising, for me, anyway.

Seymour has NO choice but to sacrifice himself for Audrey II.

Wow, is that how Jesus felt? When HE was pleading with the Father in the garden that the cup be passed, was HE really hoping that that it would be passed, or, did HE love us sooooooooooooooo much that HE knew that it would not be passed and that HE would have to “jump headfirst to HIS death?”

Sacrifice … been thinking a lot about that as I have been evaluating the “ministries” that I have been involved in. Sacrifice, giving up of my time and my resources for God’s kingdom, or, doing it because I “like” doing this particular thing and I get joy from it … Sacrifice, is it?

Sacrifice … not having a choice, but doing it out of great love, sacrifice because there is not other remedy … Surprise!

 

Wrestling

I really like the idea that if we don’t wrestle with our faith, that we will never take it for a test drive.
For the past few years, I have been wrestling with my faith. It’s a faith that is real, as I have had my share of difficulties over the past 5 or so, years.
However, I as SURPRISED at how much of this same faith has been inherited and absorbed by my association with the church and the from my family.
This is surprising to me … Wow, God was trying to see if I was “road worthy” for the particular HE has for me to run.
I recently started training for 10K run, how serious??????? Well, I am still struggling, but gradually, slowly, but surely feeling stronger …
I have to wrestle with tiredness, exhaustion, hunger … I am JUST getting into shape. Yet every time I go out, I feel that much better.
Surprise … the wrestling has all been DIVINE plot to strengthen the weak, childlike, out-of-shape faith that was comfortable with.

Punctuation

The past five years have been marked by God messing with the punctuation in my life. Everywhere I think that I should have a boring old period, I find that there are loud, screaming exclamation marks, within them, words like WHY, WHEN, HOW, WHERE.

In other places, where there should be bold, underlined passages, I find them in regular, insignificant font.

Has the narrative been less or more interesting? I dare say that when God messes with the punctuation in our lives, the story becomes richer and it sure makes for a more interesting read.

Church … which I am a part of and which I am trying to (once again) find my “place” in, has been for the most part following the standard rules of punctuation … no run-on sentences, not italics, not bold font. And, the narrative has proven to be B-O-R-I-N-G!

What would happen if we threw out the rules that we have learned and started using the puncutation that Jesus used here on HIS short time with us … you know, YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at the money lenders and then using a small, simple, unassuming font when he ate amongst the sinners?

The rules of punctuation can be taxing, limiting and well, just plain, uninteresting …

Surprise Me GOD ????????????????????????????????????????

Change the rules of punctuation in my life.

 

“Fly-less cowpie”

Isn’t it amazing that things have the ability to improve lives, but not change them …

We will our lives with stuff, more stuff and then some other stuff. We do this at church too, we fill the calendar with programs, social events, workshops, stuff a lot of things into our Sunday Worship services that help to improve our lives, but never change them.

Surprise … do we need to strip our notion of church, worship and building God’s kingdom of the stuff that produces flies? I think … for sure.

God’s Word, the only things that radically shifts lives and changes the course of people’s destiny is being crowded with the jingles of new ways of worship, trends … you name it … instead of fertilizing the souls that we are entrusted with, we are leaving them with more stuff to crowd their already overcrowded lives. What the really need is … well, something fly-less.

I need a large order of that stuff that “kills flies in cow pies.”

 

Below the radar

I love the analogy that we are hot air balloons and it it our prayers that keep us filled and shape us. As I mentioned before, I have this nagging sense that I am not accomplishing the mission that I was set on the earth to accomplish. I began to realize that I would have shape and would be able to float if  I would cultivate my prayer more … this way I would be completely connected to the “mission giver” and in turn be shaped daily. Perhaps, up to this point. I have been flying to “low” because I am low on the very thing that I need to help me stay afloat. I have been living a life that has been keeping me earthbound  and I have been “sagging.”

Surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can’t see the forest for the trees

Here I am on day two of my 30 Day journey of “surprises.”

That story is simply amazing … Terry wanting to go on a bike ride by himself and meeting someone along the way … him … divine interruptions.

I have been “complaining” that my plans have been interrupted … and I have this nagging in pit of my stomach that I cannot seem to shake that I should be “further ahead’ or ” somewhere else.” A few months ago, my husband said to me over dinner, “Maybe you are right where you are supposed to be.”

It was so profound that I was struck silent — that in itself is amazing, just ask him.

I am always wanting to rush ahead, only to feel that I am spinning my wheels. John Lennon says it best when he says “I am just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round.” This incident that Terry found himself reached out of the book and slapped me in the face … this is where I am supposed to be, right here, right now, dreams still not unfolded, things half done, questions still unanswered, waiting, waiting and waiting … has the Omniscient “kept” me here for my own good? In my rushing, have I missed the right “exits” by driving way over in the fast lane? The answer … YES!

As a “leader” in the church, am I missing hearing the “stories” of the saints and forcing them to join a new small group, join in another program, add another event to their calendars … the answer, YES!

Moses wandered … how many years in the desert? Noah was “cooped” up in the ark for how many days and nights? Savour the victory, the stories live on and on and on …

The answer is clear, to this wheel spinner, this one who doesn’t hear the birds singing, this nomad who wonders when the trees will end so that I can see the forest …  starting today, I will strive to enjoy the ride.

 

 

Cheering Section

I have started on a voyage, the journey will entail me reading through “Surprise Me: A 30-Day Experiment” by Terry Esau. His question is, “What if you were to start your day with these three words?” (“Surprise Me, God!”)

My first day was yesterday and the the title was “Fleeced.”

The major “surprise” I has was that we as Christians have “fleeced” ourselves out of some really, really, amazing stuff. He observes a soccer game and how the team works for “the greater good.” When on team member is in trouble with the defence, his team members yell supportive messages, backing him up and cheering him on to victory.

We have indeed fleeced ourselves. I have heard the phrase, “The church is the only institution that shoots the(ir) wounded.” Can you imagine, well, I don’t, been there, done that.  At a “crisis” point in my life, I found myself alone, misjudged and ostracized, perhaps for being weak because of the many tears that I shed during this time. Perhaps is those around me, my team members would have come alongside me, we would have accomplished something for the greater good, rather than me suffering from disillusionment and a broken heart.

Forget me for a moment … think of the world outside the church, you know, that Great Commission thing, remember that one?

Would we not have people breaking down our doors to to hear messages of support, to have personal cheering section … and with the promise of a victory. What would this mean to the depressed, hurting divorced, addicted, wanderer, sinner, the lost?

Surprised?

 

In the beginning

Over the last few months I have been seeing God’s grace in action … scandalous, unfathomable, but mostly, well, scandalous. I am someone who grew up in “the church” and unfortunately, have put God’s power in a box … limiting HIS power and HIS mercy and HIS … GRACE …

I have blogged before, but never about my faith, perhaps for fear that I would have to come out of that box and embrace things that I wasn’t comfortable with.

Maybe that is why my soul has been restless for the past several months …

Once again, my friend Christine has been an inspiration for me to begin blogging.

The journey begins …